July 9, 2012
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The Global Warming Hoax
Please don’t sweat the 2,132 new high temperature marks in June—remember, climate change is a hoax. The first to figure this out was Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe, who in fact called it “the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people,” apparently topping even the staged moon landing. But others have been catching on. Speaker of the House John Boehner pointed out that the idea that carbon dioxide is “harmful to the environment is almost comical.” The always cautious Mitt Romney scoffed at any damage too: “Scientists will figure that out ten, twenty, fifty years from now,” he said during the primaries.
Still, you have to admit: for a hoax, it’s got excellent production values.
Consider the last few weeks. Someone turned on the rain machine up in Duluth, Minnesota, where they broke all their old rainfall records (and in an excellent cinematic touch flooded the city zoo with so much water that the seal escaped and swam down the road. You can make this stuff up). And when that was over, the production team hastened to the Gulf of Mexico, turning on the giant fans to conjure up Tropical Storm Debby—the earliest fourth storm of the season ever recorded, which dumped “unthinkable amounts of rain” on central Florida. (Giveaway movie moment: the nine-foot gator that washed into a Tampa swimming pool).
The special effects guys were doing their best in Colorado: first they cranked up the heat, setting a new state record at 115 degrees. And then came the fire stunts! They looked real enough—one Waldo Canyon resident wrote a harrowing account of driving his SUV across soccer fields to escape the blaze, with “a vision of hell in his rearview mirror.” But there were giveaways it was all faked: for one, the “flames” perfectly framed the famous chapel of the Air Force Academy, and on the very day the new cadets arrived. And really, the producers took it a bit too far: they staged a firestorm near the Boulder campus of the National Center for Atmospheric Research, forcing the evacuation of the planet’s foremost climate scientists. I mean, c’mon.
It’s amazing what you can do with CGI these days. As a “giant heat wave” moved east across the nation, heat records that dated back to the Dust Bowl fell with uncanny speed. Images of the farmer kicking the dust in his drought-ridden field—that old Hollywood staple—reappeared on the evening news; the scene worked so well that the price of corn and wheat shot through the roof.
An absurd number of catastrophes kept happening at the same time, just like in the best disaster films. On Friday, for instance, Washington set all-time heat records (one observer described it as like “being in a giant wet mouth, except six degrees warmer”), and then shortly after dinner a storm for the ages blew through—first there was five minutes of high wind, blowing dust and debris (and tumbleweeds? surely some tumbleweeds), followed by an explosive display of thunder and lightning that left millions without power.
Hoaxes require verisimilitude to make sure everyone’s taken in. So it was necessary to make sure that Arctic sea ice is melting ahead of the record pace set in 2007, and wildfires are burning out of control across Siberia, and there is massive flooding n British Columbia, and…We’ll see what bizarreness next week brings.
It looks real, but it isn’t – It’s just nature trying to compete with James Cameron.Because these guys are good. You’d almost swear this is what global warming looks like, since it’s exactly what scientists have been predicting for decades. Indeed, the head of the nation’s climate data center, in Asheville, N.C., used the kind of scary language we’ve come to expect from climate alarmists, calling the record–breaking week “a super-heated spike on top of a decades-long warming trend.”
That’s why it would be so scary if it wasn’t a hoax. But it must be, because if it was a real crisis, responsible authorities would be taking action. The president wouldn’t be approving new oil drilling in the Arctic on the very same week. The Interior Secretary wouldn’t be auctioning off a vast new store of coal. The Republican presidential nominee wouldn’t be promising to approve the Keystone pipeline to the vast tarsands of Canada as his very first order of business.
But if Senator Inhofe is right, we can all relax. It looks real, but it isn’t—it’s just nature trying to compete with James Cameron. So please don’t shout fire in the global 3-D theater. Stay cool. And get a big tub of popcorn—in this epic disaster flick we’re not even close to the finale.
Comments (35)
To be fair, the more uncanny aspects of this year’s weather is due to a cock tail of La Nina and Arctic Oscillation. Still, it’s kind of scary when IN Gov Mitch Daniels gets appointed president of my school. He is a known climate change denier calling scientist zealots and their work dubious, and now he gets to head one the country’s great engineering and science schools, which is an authority on climate change science in the state of Indiana. *head desk*
Invisible Space Daddy made the Earth just for us, so anything we do is a-okay ‘cuz he, bein’ all perfect and all, wouldn’t create for us an Earth that isn’t up to the task. You liberals and your “science”. Sheesh.
So polar bears can finally get tans? sweet!
@Murphy_Rants - I think the whole idea is to counter the people who, 18 months ago, were using record snowfalls as a reason to disprove global climate change. This is all anecdotal evidence, yes, but that seems to be the evidence that the deniers like to deal with, so here we have it.
@GodlessLiberal - Fair and true enough.
@pinktiger335 - They’re actually already black, they just look white (so they can fit in in the suburbs, I presume).
I prefer the warm weather anyway.
Please don’t sweat the 2,132 new high temperature marks in June—remember, climate change is a hoax.
I’m not disputing whether there’s global warming or not but why was it 2 winters ago when there was record cold and blizzards, all the global warmists were silent. And what happens if next summer turns out to be cooler than normal?
@musterion99 - Actually, all the global climate change proponents had actually fit a very snowy winter into their climate model. It was only the anti-climate change people that were using that winter as “evidence” of no “global warming” (a misnomer). I actually took a course on the science of global climate change and massive changes in precipitation were a major outcome of the model.
@GodlessLiberal - The last paragraph says – “Ultimately, however, it’s a mistake to use any one storm — or even a season’s worth of storms — to disprove climate change or to prove it.”
That should also apply to the record heat waves this year. It appears as though global warming may be causing it but do we really know that? Maybe if next summer the same thing happens again, it will be more conclusive.
Yeah, the weather has been insane here. I don’t live in DC but I do live in central Maryland, which shares whatever weather wonkitude gets pissed down on the Capitol. We have had record heat. It is really quite extraordinary. Also, last winter we had almost no cold weather. Usually the snow starts falling in January and by the time spring gets here we’re tired of digging out. This time we had a little snowfall right before halloween (WTF?!) then nada. Spring-like temps prevailed through May. For those unfamiliar with the area, this is not just one anomaly but a series of them. January and February here are cold, rainy/snowy and windy – sometimes we even get ice storms. This year the temps required a hoodie on the worst days and now it’s so hot people are dying.
In addition to this, we have had very little rain and several counties cancelled their fireworks displays on the fourth in order to avoid starting wildfires. I’m already looking forward to winter in the hope of getting some water in the area and a break from the heat.
@GodlessLiberal - Ah, you went meta on us.
The temps could just be rising naturally too. The earth probably goes through warmer and cooler times. We’ve only been keeping track of temps and such for like an atto second of history, so maybe we don’t understand much.
Still though, our large cities are really smelly. We need to pollute less.
Maybe it is because I am a little bit older than you, but I seem to remember when I was in college, WAY back in the early 80′s, we had a discussion about the cover of Time and its article regarding said cover that said the world was starting a freezing cycle. It predicted a doom and gloom story just as the warming guys do today and they had the FACTS to back up their story…………………. They also wanted a tax back then to redistribute wealth just as they are looking for today with the warming story. The real issue/question should be/is what does our planets history tell us about the planet’s freezing and warming cycles? They come and go.
Point being, weather (I know, my spelling is not funny when things are heating up, but wasn’t a winter or two back one of the coldest ever there in the states??!!!)it is that the world is flat, the Earth is the center of the universe, the planet is freezing, the planet is warming, California is falling into the ocean, opinions are like……………… and best of all, I HAVE THE FACTS TO PROVE THAT.
Sit back, open a beer or pour a cocktail and enjoy the ride. The USA will spend itself to death well before the ice caps melt. The volcano in Hawaii kicks out more natural pollution to damage the ozone every day than all of the USA. My GOD, better make my drink a double.
Hoax, all hoax. btw I was amazed to learn that Sen. James Inhofe has grandchildren. Do you think he kicks them?
But whether it’s unusually hot or unusually cold you guys still think it’s all global warming. 2 years ago when we had unusually low temperatures it was global warming, now that it’s warm it’s still global warming.
Anyways, I don’t understand why you evolutionists would be scared of global warming given that you believe the Earth was a much warmer place a few million years ago according to your belief system. You should be fine with a return to that.
@GodlessLiberal - I think I would take a class that strictly covers evolution before I would take something like that.
Saturday was like breathing fire outside. It’s so bad… it’s killing the fishing industry in last week alone.
@we_deny_everything - lol….=)
The GOP has simply banned climate change altogether…http://leanforward.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/06/01/12010608-north-carolina-gopers-want-to-ban-use-of-science-in-planning-for-global-warming?lite
-_- Everytime someone mentions the words “Global Warming” I just sock them in the face.
I’m still upset about the cavemen causing the last Ice Age…….when will we ever learn?
Common answers from people who take everything literally. Global warming is a name which implies things get warmer, so naturally when we have a cold winter the simple minded people will think it’s all a hoax. Sure it’s been warmer on the planet, and a hell of a lot colder too, but even if this is a natural thing, it can still spell disaster for us if we continue to rely on nonrenewable forms of energy.
Let me spell it out for those who can’t be bothered to get facts. A 3 degree global change (hotter) can seriously endanger every coastal city on the planet. The majority of humanity lives on or near some coast. If you think switching to renewable green energy will cause economic chaos, try losing coastal populations.
Even if we didn’t cause it, we made it worse. Even if it’s not technically ‘global warming’, it can still have devastating consequences. It sure looks like something is happening now, won’t you pull your head out of the sand to do something more than deny it.
You forgot to mention the flooding in Russia that killed 171 and left 18,000 homeless. http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-07-09/death-toll-from-russian-flooding-reaches-171-ministry-says.html Occuring in the middleof the nigt like that? People being trapped in their homes or just barely escaping? Very cinematic.
Why do people seek to deny global warming, despite all the evidence? I think two reasons: Garrison Keillor has a line he likes to use “Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye and deny it.” People don’t like the news. It’s scary. Friends and family I know might be affected. I might have to change the way I do things. It’s too hard to deal with. Thus I say “It does not exsist!” Problem solved.
Mostly I think people don’t like the idea that this whole thing is our fault. CO2 emissions are something we did, we could control and didn’t, something we let get out of hand. If God causes the storm, then that’s his will; if man created the storm (or other manifestation of global warming) then we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Did you know that Ben Franklin had a b**** of a time selling his lightning rod? People believed that having your house burn to the ground from a lightning strike was an act of God – God wanted your house to burn! How dare you give us an implement to upstage God! These same people are still around, singing the same song with slightly different words.
millions across the country lost power due to a rash of storms. some are still without power since Friday, in record breaking heat. i guess that’s comparable to seeing the movie in 3D. really makes you feel like your there.
in an interview last week Bill Nye the Science Guy said for 16 of the past 17 years weather patterns have behaved as predicted by global warming models. Inhofe, Boehner, Romney and the rest have behaved as predicted by the oil industry lobbying and kickback models.
Get used to it, MIT predicts a 5.2 degree C increase by 2100, for each 1 degree C the atmosphere can hold 7% more moisture, thus resulting in more extreme precipitation events (in all seasons of the year), so, basically by 2100 the Earth’s atmosphere will be able to hold roughly 36% more moisture… these storms are nothing compared with what we’re going to see over time if nothing is changed.
In happier news the weather this year in New England has been AMAZING! We hardly had any snow at all this winter and the only problem this summer has been more humidity than we’re accustomed to.
Tumbleweed? I thought that died out because there aren’t any cowboys anymore, and cowboys are needed to pollinate it, or something. Sort of a symbiosis thing, that used to work when all the movies were black and white, but now all the cowboys are up mountains learning bad things from sheep, so there’s no tumbleweed. No? Perhaps I’ve got it confused with something else.
@MiDarkLyfe - “Why do people seek to deny global warming, despite all the evidence?I think two reasons:… “
Republican tribalism. It is much easier to uncrticially accept the manufactured pseudo-science of friends than the arguments and evidence of the same people opposed to on abortion, evolution, and gay rights.
The effects seem real. They are probably caused by illegal immingrants, flouride in the water, insufficent tax breaks for the rich, that dark person in the White House, and gay agenda.I know it has to be someone else’s fault. I can’t blame myself, that’s for certain, certain sure.
@Celestial_Teapot - LOVE pseudo-science! That’s the one where dinosaurs and people co-exsisted!, right? Much, much more fun than drab, boring real science with it’s bad news about the end of New York City through a rise in sea levels. Real science destroys my beach vacation; pseudo science say Fred Flintstone is real! I pick the happy, fun science! (I do get to choose which one I want to be true, right?)
i have a sudden urge to visit alaska, before it’s too late.
@musterion99 - Yes, it’s a good idea to be doubtful of a proposition for no reason when the consequences of delay can be significant. Or, instead of “waiting” to accept the obvious, you can just accept what the models based on hundreds of years of data say, what more than 95% of climate science experts believe, and every respected scientific organization on earth, including NASA, have told us: anthropogenic climate change is happening and is, as a matter of demonstrable fact, tied to both hot and cold weather extremes (some, not all).
There is no scientific debate over these general points any more. It’s over. Done. Because that’s what the evidence supports. We know a lot of these issues with scientific certainty. Doubt and total delay is no longer reasonable.
When it comes down to it, the issue can accurately be portrayed as (in America): (1) Republican politicians and business interests versus (2) the most accomplished scientists in their respective fields, who are interpreting evidence that no skeptic has been able to rebut (or even make a good faith attempt to rebut, really). Which side is more reliable regarding the interpretation of scientific evidence? Scientists or non-scientists? For a lay person who is going to simply assume things, it is much more logical to assume the later group is correct about climate change, not the former. This is common sense.
@MiDarkLyfe - It’s not like the deniers are a diverse group of people anymore. In America, the denier camp is overwhelmingly (I would guess more than 90%) right-wing conservatives who are non-scientists. It’s easy to understand why there are deniers when you discover who the deniers are. That group of people is profoundly anti-science. Denying scientific evidence is a necessary prerequisite for their world view, particularly those members who are Young Earth Creationists. They deny the undeniable foundational tenets of every major scientific discipline, whether it’s biology (evolution, vaccine efficacy), chemistry/physics (half-life decay rates, big bang theory), etc. They are this generation’s Luddites - they don’t want their way of life to change, so they are willing to go to amazing lengths to deny the inevitable.
What’s been really impressive is how virtually all the “skeptic” spokespeople now openly accept AGW, like Richard Muller. This hasn’t phased the denier camp one bit because their beliefs are faith-based, and they believe that’s all they need to have equally valid opinions as, say, NASA scientists. It’s pretty impressive.
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