Saturday, 16 May 2009
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Currently
Saved!
By Jena Malone, Mandy Moore, Macaulay Culkin, Patrick Fugit, Heather Matarazzo
see relatedI'm FILLED With Christ Love!
So Revelife recently posted one of my submissions, entitled The Genealogies of Jesus: Biblical Contradiction?
I wanted to share with you one of the responses I got to this.Gee, another long-winded pointless post from the Godless arcade of people impressed by their own ability to dissect minutia.
YOU WIN... The Bible is BULLSHIT! OK, now what?
I've been trolling Atheist chat rooms and Forums for two years. Same old, same old. A thousand words of, "Who cares."
I'm not here to convert. Frankly, I really don't care what you believe. I don' t care if your team of free thinkers trounces syntax errors in Jeremiah. It makes no difference in the world today.
I was always taught that the Bible was "inspired by God". I don't know who redefined that influence through the last 45 years, Christians or non-believers. From what I'm gathering, God is now the proof-reader and editor-in-chief prior to all press runs. He even upgraded from Microsoft Office to Microsoft Omniscient. But according to the posts I see, MO has a few bugs and we're all waiting for the second coming of release one.
Kermit the Frog was a sock puppet. We learned a lot from him. He wasn't real. Whether Jesus was real or not and trying to prove that he wasn't by saying every text must be identical to a T is a real sign of ignorance, to put it bluntly. Use your well-honed research skills that you learned at a liberal university to burn a Straw Man somewhere else.
I don't get it. In today's modern age of electronic, instant transmission, two reporters standing side by side at a news event will write different accounts. Then Snopes will declare a winner in some obscure chat room a year from now.
As far as I know, the people that wrote the Bible were human. None had a fax machine or text-messaging. Al Gore was not born yet, so the world suffered as Prophets wrote about the gore in the Bible and predicted his arrival.
The unemployed carpenter from Nazareth is a good story. If you had to write a book report and were only allowed one sentence, it should read: Love one another.
That seems rather universal to me. Jesus didn't say, Love everyone except the fags (Thanks Westboro Baptist Church. Your 97 member inbred church is not doing much PR good for the God you warp and twist like Gumby on a hot afternoon.)
Jesus clearly stated that he brought a new law. Animal sacrifice and a most of the teaching in the Old Testament were displaced by the new default home page titled: Love One Another.com
I know that is a hideously fucked up message, which is spewed by mindless believers and it is just perverse. I think that debating syntax errors and misclassifications of animal genus by the author of Micah is much more important than giving a shit about the millions of children that will die in Africa because of HIV. Orphans are produced by the second. Shitheaded Christians try to preach abstinence to keep children from burying their parents and living off the flies that swarm the corpse. All those ball-crunching restrictions in the Bible have no place in the world, I agree. Pass the shovel, I've got another kid to bury.
I happen to be Christian. I think about others. I dedicate my work to seeking those with less and offering them a soda cracker to step on and elevate their lives.
I don't follow the practices of Buddhism. But I have enough decency to not go in their chat rooms and snap their asses with a wet towel of my own self-importance. I don't feel driven to defecate on their little statues of urinate on their candles. Although, the thought of Bitch Slappin Buddha gets me hard.
I think the entire religious debate is the grossest waste of time and thought in the history of mankind.
Jesus said to love one another. Or at least that's what Mark made him say when he had his hand up his ass at the puppet show.
Even Richard Dawkins might think that's a good idea.
Love is an action. It's not a debate. Mythical Jesus talked, but the fairy tale repeatedly depicts him in servitude to those around him - right before he passed the collection plate and told us about the addition to his new 700,000 foot glass church built in Ephesus. It's going to have a gift shop featuring toenail clippings and worn sandals. Limited supply. Hurry.
Atheists pound there chests a lot when they squash another fucked in the head Christian. Maybe they're doing it out of love?
Yes, they pound their chests, filling blogs and forums with a lot of words telling us all how brilliant they are because they got it. GOD really is DOG spelled backwards. I've never seen ONE post out of the thousands that told of an atheiest pounding the pavement to help the poor. Not one. ZERO.
Yes, all those assholes at St. Martha's passing out canned goods on Saturday to the people the government couldn't help should be reprimanded and forced to stop that mindless charity shit and get a blog and some hot oil and start stroking themselves.
Oh and those sick bastards with the Bibles that cram the last pair of clean underwear in a back pack before they depart on a year long mission at a hosptial in India need to wake up and get a group going on MySpace and start posting convoluted arguments about evolution. They can connect the dots like the bullet that hit Connelly in 1963.
Keep filling up space with your discussions. They are never inspiring. They never tell of a person who overcame life's trials. They never tell of a single selfless act. They never tell us about even a $2 donation to a guy with no home.
I've posted these kind of remarks a few dozen times now around the Internet. I got ONE... ONE... ONE... wimpering atheist that said, "hey man, i thought about doing something nice for someone the other day." The useless fuck didn't even do anything. He only thought about it. Yes, bombastic uselessness never helped anyone.
I'm a Christian of a different breed. I do things. I find homeless guys and hang with them. Give them smokes and always buy extra burgs at BK. I give up my seat to old ladies. I hugged a six foot nine inch stranger because I saw he was troubled. He asked me, "How did you know?" I saw he needed it.
Those of you that aren't betting with Pascal say it doesn't matter, since there isn't an afterlife. Whether there is or not, I still flush my toilet.
So... thanks again for enlightening us. The glow will put smiles on a lot of children who don't have moms and dads, I'm just so sure of that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Oh... and all of you simpletons that will send me dozens of replies telling me about great atheist scientists who changed the world... SHUT UP... The scientist happened to not believe in God. They did not do their work in the name of Atheism. There is a difference. And if you don't understand that, please don't waste my time.
Hey... I'm a prophet too. I predict that 85% of the replies from the free thinkers will be FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. The free thinkers seem chained a few inches from a dictionary or a thesaurus. The rest will pick a sentence or two out and nit pick a point. I'll bet on my prediction. I live in Vegas. I know a suckers bet when I see one. I'm a winner... EV-ER-Y TIME, BABY.
So... keep filling us with your brilliance. I think I'll work on filling a void in a child's stomach.
God Bless YOU.
Peace... Join me... change the world. Make a difference. Care. Share. Love one another.
0 eProps for your lack of contribution to society.
This person has such a skewed perspective of atheism, it sickens me. I popped over to his/her blog for a bit, and I could taste the poison everytime the words "free thinking atheists" popped up (it seemed to always be like that, italicized and with both terms together).
I invite you all to respond on the Revelife post, but ONLY if you are going to do so in a way that won't confirm his/her opinion of atheists as a hateful group. Otherwise just post here if you want to guffaw or curse. I won't blame you. The first comment on this entry will be my response to him/her I posted on the Revelife posting.
Peace, Love, Krisko Disko
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Comments (45)
Wow. It's amazing to see such anger and hate from someone professing to spend their life on charity and love.
First,
I never said my post would change the world, feed orphans, cure cancer,
give peace to the Middle East, or make the world dance. If that's what
you expect out of posts, I bet you are a very disappointed around
Revelife and Xanga. I popped over to your blog for a second, and I have
to say that your posting of a Nickelback video and quoting proverbs
while attacking atheists didn't inspire me to convert to Christianity
and give all my belongings to starving children. Should I attack you as
voraciously as you attacked me for that?
In the very first
paragraph of my post I pointed out that I wasn't attempting to disprove
the Bible or your religion, but simply point out something that means
it is not 100% true word for word. If you find out that Matthew got a
couple begots wrong, should you abandon charity work and doing good
deeds? Not at all. That wasn't a point I was making in the least, and
your strawman and personal attacks against me are completely unfounded
and harmful to the point you seemed to want to make: atheists are
selfish because we have no divine accountability, while Christians are
selfless because you know when you die you will be judged.
But what about atheists like myself and Guru_on_the_Hill
who do good deeds dispite not expecting a divine reward or fearing an
everlasting punishment? I spent a summer in Juarez, Mexico building a
home for a family of eight. I opted out of a possibly lucrative life in
academia to get my teaching degree, which I plan on using in inner city
schools. I hold the door open for people. I'm a pretty decent guy who
happens to be an atheist. I mean, congrats on all the wonderful things
you've done for people. Keep them up. But know that religion isn't the
only reason to do these things.
You say you've posted this dozens
of times and only got one atheist who "thought about" doing something
nice. Now you've gotten two responses from people who have done some
genuinely good things in their lives. Will this change anything for
you? If so, then this whole argument was worth it. I hate getting that
knee-jerk reaction to me being an atheist. It's Christians with your
mindset that jump me late at night and pummel me out of "Christ love."
You
see, your prophocy failed. No one has responded with a "fuck you." Not
all atheists are the monsters you make us out to be. Most of us don't
even eat babies.
I find it terribly ironic that after spouting
paragraph after paragraph of hate-filled diatribe, you sign that we
should join you and love one another. I hope the irony isn't lost on
you.
Please, please respond to this. I want to know if a single word of this impacted you in the least.
"Filled with Christ's love" sounds vaguely sexual.
What an idiot.
@Garistotle - It's a quote from "Saved!" But now that you say that, it does sound dirty. How did I not notice that before? Thank you, kind sir. Thou art truly wise.
That was seriously a response? Wow... I don't even know where to begin, I thought it was a series of rambling comments by different writers till I reread it. I appreciate the clarity with which you replied.
@GodlessLiberal - Yeah, I saw the movie. Pretty funny stuff. And I just hope Christ was at least gentle.
Did that response even have anything to do with your post? I really don't think so.
I don't get what this guy did wrong here. He has a differing opinion and seems to have his head screwed on mostly straight when it comes to his religion. He could be a lot worse.
@Garistotle - well akshuly the whole jesus = sex thayng iz pretty common wun may go thru eny xtian hymnal & ryte after the hymn tytlez "under the sheets with jesus" evry kid knoze that gayme but evin mor so the xtian mystiks hava relayship to jesus/gawd that parallels the sexual xperience two prime xampulz ar john of the cross & theresa of avila tho ther ar meny utherz & over the past 2000 yrz well therzza virtual library fulla xtian arguably mostly catholik erotic lit & summa itz rather gud reedin
That dude has got some issues packed in his cornhole, I'd say. He's corn-fused and the fuse is getting short.
You, on the other hand, keep feeding the animals. Didn't you read the sign?
I'm an Agnostic, and honestly I've recently been finding Atheists as annoying as I usually do Christians (bombastic ones, anyway). I think this person went about their message in the entire wrong way. If he/she would have just left most of the bottom half out, and wouldn't have been so dick-ish in the top half, maybe it could have become an interesting debate. Unfortunately, as tends to happen in all religious debate, (s)he opted for the ad hominem attack. I like the article you submitted, it's a shame that most Revlifers won't really understand what you're trying to say, and will simply attack you. I always tell myself not to post things on religion, because I always just feel angry when I read the comments, but then I end up doing it anyway, like yesterday haha.
I love how these really extremist fundy Christians argue that secularists, atheists, etc. inaccurately depict them as being braindead anti-intellectuals, but whenever you go into one of their forums or attend one of their church services, it's clear that the vast majority of them are both stupid and proudly anti-intellectual. They admittedly place a high premium on stupidity, but are terribly angry and defensive about being stupid. It's a self-fulfilling culture of stupidity that they are both unhappy about and commited to.
Also, what is it with these fundy Christians and trying to make pithy zingers, yet failing miserably 100% of the time? How can these people type this stuff out, read it over, and think, "Oh yeah, baby! This will bring home the comedic bacon!" *send* The only behavior I can think that's analgous to it is extreme racists taunting minorities with racial slurs. The slurs are stupid and fail to make valid criticisms about the minorities they're aimed at, but the hatred for the minorities is so intense that being hateful and antagonistic is more important than being effective, insightful, funny, etc.
Also, GL, you forgot the obligatory "these people are probably batshit loons that aren't representative of most moderate Christians..." disclaimer. I am suprised that you haven't been accused of painting all Christians with the comments of these people yet, because it happens pretty much every single post.
@UTRow1 - [Also, GL, you forgot the obligatory "these
people are probably batshit loons that aren't representative of most
moderate Christians..." disclaimer. I am suprised that you haven't been
accused of painting all Christians with the comments of these people
yet, because it happens pretty much every single post.]
I made sure that I had that big paragraph long disclaimer at the top of my original post, and still people would respond with "so there's a tiny mistake, do you think that proves there's no god?" *sigh*
@YossariansWingman - [I'm an Agnostic, and honestly I've recently
been finding Atheists as annoying as I usually do Christians (bombastic
ones, anyway).]
I can appreciate that, and I know quite a few cases where I feel the same way.
@Mangonese - Seriously? Personal attacks, broad generalizations, and general hate-mongering are not proper debate techniques.
@AibellFaeire - No, not in the least.
@Ro_ad808 - Thank you, I did my best not to get extremely pissed.
"I think the entire religious debate is the grossest waste of time and thought in the history of mankind."
Did anyone else find that statement extremely ironic?
Mr. TLDR should think before he posts...
I think the entire religious debate is the grossest waste of time and thought in the history of mankind. Amen!
Oh wow, I thought that was a bunch of people posting single line comments... but one guy?! WTF with the crazies, they make funnies.
Wow...at first i thought that was a whole bunch of different comments. Took me a few minutes to realize that i misread your opening sentence where you state it was ONE of the comments you got. And wow, what a comment! It's Christians like that that bother me. Ones that can't seem to accept that there are people out there who believe different things, and who lump certain types of people together rather than looking at them as individuals (in this case, considering all atheists to be uncaring jerks). I don't even know what to say to this person. I'm sorta flabbergasted (love that word!).
On another note, Saved is a fucking hilarious movie! We watched it at a friend's house and laughed our asses off so hard that we just had to buy our own copy! It's fabulous.
@GodlessLiberal - No, they're not. I understand that. But to be honest, how is it any better to respond to that sort of drivel?
I think a lot of people get in trouble because they either generalize on purpose, or the generalize by mistake. If he did it on purpose, I suppose he's in the wrong. But something seems to tell me that he isn't. I think he made the mistake of not specifically mentioning the kind of atheist he was "against". I could be wrong.
I honestly think the whole thing shouldn't be a debate in the first place. Religion is personal. No one should be trying to change minds in either direction about religion. Let people figure it out for themselves, whatever that means to them.
I liked that comment- it had spunk and fire! I don't think debating religion is a waste of time or thought, firstly because it is fascinating to speculate about our surroundings and our placement in it. Secondly, because it is like any discussion of culture and humanities, be it music, movies, or literature- yeah it may have no practical value to our or someone else's immediate survival, but it's supa fun, kills an afternoon nicely, and is part of what makes it worthwhile to be alive in the first place.
The reason you won't see people doing charity work in the name of atheism is because it is rarely communal, and when it is, only through indirect and more difficult environments like xanga and other websites, where people are physically far away from each other. I tend to think that a lot of aspects of Christianity people appreciate and find rewarding have nothing to do with religion- it has to do with belonging to a group. And it's hard to find a group that doesn't do charity work, even seemingly unrelated groups like the Blues Society in my city and my library's book club do fundraising, collect canned goods, etc. Like those groups and that entire post, it's not about religion or religious ideas, it's about people. And forgive me for partially derailing the atheist good deed train here, but I also think an admittedly selfish isolationist worldview comes with the territory of being an atheist. Of course we all know correlation doesn't equal causation, conditions leading to our behavior and philosophy towards other aspects of life also lead to our atheism. And those conditions probably only exist while a very conservative, religious outlook is mainstream- for example, actually rejecting religion or your upbringing is a pretty anti-social act.
So who wants to organize some sort of godless but goodhearted (or other crappy pun-esque title) charity thing via xanga? I would if I knew how lol.
Thanks for the reference. Sometimes I find it hard to hold my tongue ...
-Guru on the Hill
The bit about urinating on budha giving this commentor a hard on was um... coming from the abundance of Christ's love?
I commented a bit. :D I don't care for anything about the Bible. The Bible had me at hello. Does this mean I don't want to be accountable? LOL
@ScreamingYourSecrets - I thought the same. Thanks for being confusing and ambiguous Godless Liberal. Godless Liberal must be wrong about everything else. Sorry.
this is a waste of time
you guys are out of touch with reality if you think these peoples' ideas are completely stupid and worthless, meaningless.
honestly your opinions seem to be based on regional conflict of two different groups of people (religious and not) that have pissed each other off over the course of your lives
scanning the comments and the general tone of this entire thing is condescending (even the Christian's post
reading debates about atheism always irritates me now because it always sounds the same.
and i used to be very atheist
mocking people for emotions. meet a medium if you think the afterlife doesn't exist.