Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”
Comments (78)
interesting way to think about it. im very curious about the response to this.
Great entry. I like the story of Joe Republican, and the cartoon at the end wraps it up nicely.
rofl. piling it on huh?
Hey. They Got God on their side...doesn't matter if we gave them all house made of Gold and 20 foot monster trucks and a fish on every hook...they is going with God. Ripped off, outta work, Ya gotta love and defend a nutjob like Palin to your co-workers when even you know deap down she is looney, logic throw at you that you are indeed and idiot....they are going with what they beleive...nothing ya can do to change it....
Excellent entry! The cartoon at the end is great too! = ]
Ha, I like this.
I love it. I also love the shameless plug of your own user name in there!
@helvetebrann - Well, that WAS all me.
Yes! yes yes yes yes. Exactly.
And the ad on the side wants me to subscribe to a weekly Newt Gingrich newsletter. HA, ha ha ha ha...
Ha! Well Done.
I'm very surprised no one has started spouting hate yet. Maybe it's an instance of Christian compassion in action!
I agree with most of your points, and yet I find it a little sad that the US is so sharply polarized.
@Ailanna - [I'm very surprised no one has started spouting hate yet. Maybe it's an instance of Christian compassion in action!]
I find that in short supply on Xanga, especially on my site. Maybe nobody wants to be the first.
Get this on YouTube. You could probably reach internet stardom with a little bit of exposure.
and now that joe is retired, death comes a'calling.
but fortunately for joe, some god-fearing person with faith giving thanks to God for giving joe the power to be a self made man, also prayed for joe's soul. because perhaps joe being so busy with the things of this world, never really searched out the things of the world to come. so the god fearing christian did it for him. and with the sacrificial lamb who shed his blood for all mankind we'll get him into heaven.
@GodlessLiberal - You won't hear me complaining. After all I am a "commie, homo-loving son-of [a]-gun". I appreciate all the hard work that you and people like you do to make sure we have those liberties and I do the best I can to work towards ensuring them as well.
@littlebearlarocko - First, you make the mistake in assuming that liberals can't also be Christian. There are plenty of very liberal Christians.
Secondly, you make the mistake in assuming that atheists want to be saved. Since there is no God, I don't need to be saved. It's as easy as that.
Hmm... I see an amusing anecdote with a caricature of a Republican and a caricature of Liberal accomplishments...but little more than that without citations and sources for each of things attributed solely to Liberals within it. I can see the fun in making fun of one's opponents, but I don't see what other use this has beyond that amusement. :-]
And now, having been the first nay-sayer, it may be presumed that I'm protesting that the described republican is entirely right in his name-calling, and that the Liberals haven't accomplished anything at all - but I didn't say those things. (Just for the record ;-] )
@littlebearlarocko - Wow, that's, like, blasphemous to virtually every denomination of Christianity I can think of. O_o
This post isn't fair. You're forgetting all the things the conservatives did! Like...
Umm...
Joe Republican goes to the shooting range! Haha.
Goddamn I hate republicans. Their hypocrisy is astonishing and they are ALL cowards!!
marry me.
;)
@littlebearlarocko - oh god, really?
Okay...
Go to mikemalloy.com and watch the video. You won't believe these thugs from corporate america
Good post!