If I was on the fence about why there was a reason to come back and start blogging my usual tirades against religion, I was given the final push over the edge. Earlier this week, I had a friend attempt suicide due to untreated depression issues. It was tremendously sad, but it and the nearly 50 stitches accompanying it were a wake up call she dearly needed. But what happened yesterday is on a whole extra level of just fucking wrong.
A friend from high school, we'll just call him D, realized that after years of trying his best to deny who, at his very core, he truly was, it was time to accept reality and help the people near and dear to him to accept the same. The problem is, everyone near and dear to D was strongly tied to a particularly conservative group within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, aka the Mormons. When D told them that he is, and always has been, attracted to other men, his his friends ostracized him. His church shunned him. His family disowned him. And when D realized that there was nobody in his life who cared more about his well-being than in the immutable writings of books written hundreds or thousands of years ago, D tried to kill himself.
I've lost friends to suicide. Far too many. For a middle class white boy from the suburbs of Minnesota, I've lost far too many people to their poor choices, be it drugs, violence, drunk driving, abusive boyfriends or self-destruction. I think suicide is an extremely selfish act. But being that I also have a history of health issues, both physical and mental, I don't judge people who make this choice. Especially not D. When I feel extremely depressed, I have a giant net of people who are there to catch me, to keep me from plummeting into that dark abyss. D didn't have that. In his time of need, every single person who he counted on to be there for him turned their back. His brother, his mother, his father, his grandparents, his friends from college, his friends from work, his pastor, his congregation... none of them cared more for the life of a sweet, gentle man than for the words of hate passed down through their religion. In the end, a neighbor D knew only in passing saved his life as he dangled by his neck.
If it weren't for religion, the closest thing we'd have to an anti-gay movement is "it's just icky", and you can guarantee that would never get support in the polls. Only organized religion can take an entire person's quarter-century history of good deeds, kind words and well wishing and reduce it down to "he's an evil queer." And only organized religion can have the power to try to legislate this holy mandate to hate into law.
Somebody once asked me what the proper term for homosexual people is: is it gays, homos, or queers?
You know what I like to call homosexual people? People.
Comments (71)
Damn straight! (Damn gay!)
So incredibly sad. Whatever happened to human decency? There seems to be so little of it left now.
and yet when criticized such hateful people as D grew up surrounded by pull out the persecution and "hatred against us" cards. no matter the belief system, people who accept and harbor institutionalized hatred and ill will toward others fail to comprehend greater values....way over their heads. freedom of religion does not mean freedom to harm others who believe or live differently. otherwise in place of a nation united our nation becomes one big circular firing squad future generations will only know about from history books.
I agree that this situation is extremely sad, however I don't see why you want to come back and "go on a tirade" against religion. Isn't that the reason you left? because people were saying hateful, hurtful things that almost pushed you to the limit? So why would you want to come back here and spread that? I just don't understand your motives. Your picture says "Free Hugs" but your words have so much venom.
Not in this post really minus the first line, but just in your previous two posts, your pulse about "if you're going to be back you're going to SERIOUSLY be back"
why spread the hate that drove you away from this place in the first place?
I am glad that in both cases someone was there to help them. I can't imagine going through depression, but I doubly can't imagine going through depression and also being shunned by everyone I was close to. My family? My church? Those are supposed to be the support you have when everyone else runs away. Sometimes the acts of people who are so close-minded make me sick. It seems a very lazy way to deal with your problems- just tell them that they don't exist to you anymore. I want to smack them.
@raspberryjade - I frankly don't see fighting for the equal rights of people to be "spreading hate." I think that if there are going to be ignorant, hateful, bigoted people in this world that SOMEBODY has to at least point out that they are, indeed, ignorant hateful and bigoted. And because by letting religious people get away with discriminating against homosexuals because it's part of their faith is the reason why two of my friends have killed themselves, and another two have tried. I honestly don't know how to fix all that, but facing it head-on and countering all the bigotry and ignorance with words, emotions and facts is the best way I know how.
As a side note, that guy Jesus, who y'know, the people who shunned D worship, was always friendly to people who weren't exactly in line with what his religion taught. I'd hope that if Jesus met your friend he'd give him some sort of metaphorical story and a hug. He seemed good at that.
That is it totally in a nutshell. Insecurity!!
This is so sad. I grew up in a small southern baptist church....I couldn't tell you how many people I watched get shunned for one reason or another. Black people were started at in disgust for even walking in the door, one girl was named a 'lost cause' because she chose to VISIT a Mormon church with a friend of hers. I can't even begin to tell you how many hateful stares KIDS were given who came from the 'wrong side of the tracks'....because they showed up dressed poorly.
A music minister at another church I attended accused his wife of cheating on him...she received piles of 'hate mail' and other immature things from church officials and the congregation. She eventually committed suicide.
Yet these SAME people walk around all day praising Jesus and talking about how it's their 'mission' to save US and to spread the word of Jesus.
I know you shouldn't judge the entirety of Christianity based on a few jerks, I know a lot of great people who are chrisitans, but don't even get me started on how ridiculous the bible is.
@raspberryjade - So, speaking strongly AGAINST bigotry and discrimination is hate? What is this? Am I in the Twilight Zone of all sudden? A "world turned upside down" alternate reality, in which bigotry can't be argued against because that makes the person arguing in FAVOR of equality and acceptance a hate-monger?
I don't get it. Luckily, GL's reply explains it quite well.
We have to speak up, and we can't be too soft about it. PEOPLE ARE DYING as a result of some people's ass-backwards adherence to outdated myths. This needs to be said without hesitation, without restraint. If we only whisper in subdued tones, wearing an extra-large and extremely padded pair of kid gloves, we really won't get anywhere. Plus, given the fact that many religious people are extremely sensitive about their beliefs, it's probably impossible to address these issues without ruffling some feathers. So, I say fuck it. Let's say it loudly, and let's not take any prisoners. You're ALWAYS going to offend someone, so might as well not worry about offending anyone. That's my take on it.
I've had an ex-girlfriend (girlfriend at the time) who wanted to take her own life because her best friend took her own life. And although that relationship has gone to shit, no matter how much I resent that relationship, I never wish death on her. When someone is in trouble, they will need someone there to pik them back up. Even if they are doing it for attention, you would never know if there is a little truth in their cry for help.
It is a little sickening that a group of people who follow their lord who preached to love thy neighbor, that they would push him away. I hope that your friend recovers quickly and that he will see better days. He may not know many people besides those in his church and town, but he has many people around the nation and the globe supporting him (me included).
@In_Reason_I_Trust - of course speaking against bigotry isn't hate, and in my comment I said I really wasn't talking about this post, just kind of his general attitude about returning here. He left here saying "Trying to foster honest debate results in nothing but trolling." and he was right, and nothing has changed here, and he's still going to get the same trolls - so why promote this post on revelife and provoke them?
I just don't see how things are going to be any different this time around for him is all.
@raspberryjade - Whether the fight against bigotry ends up being trolled or supported, what matters is that he is fighting the fight against hate. That's really what matters.
@raspberryjade - HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING AND oh who am I kidding, I'm just here for the food. I had sushi today and now my stomach feels all stretched out
@QuantumStorm - Said in true grad student form. *nods* lol.
Religion is not evil. It is just stupid bullshit. I am against religion too, but for different reasons. I love how you blame your friend's suicide on everyone but himself. Typical liberal 'blame everyone but yourself' philosophy. Did the religious group put a gun to his head? Did they put a noose around his neck? I cannot stand religion, but in this case, they were right.
I love that description of homophobia 'insecurity about being heterosexual'. *ROTFLMAO* Absolutely the biggest pile of shit I have ever read. Heteros are insecure about being just that, heteros? How does that happen? 'Oh my god, I am hetero, and I feel so insecure about it!' Yes, we have heard a lot of that. Odd that only FAGS come up with that definition. It is no wonder they are considered 'evil'. This would suggest that the author of this blog is a fag.
I was brought up as right wing as you can possibly get--no Halloween, Pat Robertson VHS tapes on Sunday, church whenever possible, and I attended a fundamentalist Baptist school from K to 12th grade. All things considered, I probably should be extremely fundamentalist and totally absurd, but I'm not.
I guess it had the opposite effect on me. I'm also proud to say that I'm the only one in this town (other than my husband) that has an HRC sticker on their car...and though it has resulted in my car getting harassed a few times (I went to Target one day, and while I was in the store, someone had written "gay lover" on my car with chalk), I wouldn't change it for the world. My thoughts and ideas are my own. I answer questions if people ask, but they usually don't, because people don't like going outside their comfort zones. In my mind though, the ostracism is worth it, because I have so many gay and transgender friends that were there for me when my family turned their back on me, so this is my way of saying "thank you" to them.
I suppose, in my own way, I am unapologetic-ally stubborn, but never disrespectful. I am wholly convinced, not pushy. I believe that faith in God makes me a better person--not better than everyone else, and I believe that everyone will answer for how they treat others belief in God or not.
Great post though...and I sincerely hope your friend is able to deal with these issues and realize that their opinions don't make D any less of a person. I have lost many, many friends to suicide due to the same circumstances here. I will be sending lots of positive thoughts your way!
@GodlessLiberal - Attacking and demonizing religion is not fighting for equal rights. It's attacking and demonizing. You are spreading hate.
You're lumping all religious people together into one huge, deranged generalization.
And I don't think it's a coincidence that you're attacking Mormon seeing that the guy who is going to cream Obama next November is a Mormon.
I'm Christian. One of my sisters is gay. There are no two people more strict and straight than my parents. Yet they love their children. And I love my sister.
You and this post get a big raspberry.
@laytexduckie - You don't fight the fight against hate by being bigoted and hateful and lumping all religious people together. What's being done by the author is the exact same thing he's complaining about.
It's nothing but distilled 200 proof hypocrisy.
@In_Reason_I_Trust - The title of the post is "Suicide by Faith." That's is a hateful thing to say about billions of people. I've been shunned by Christians and atheists alike. Hypocrisy and hate is a human condition that has nothing whatsoever to do with faith.
If you hate religion you're hating. You suffer from the same malady that you're complaining about. So does the author of this post.You're better off just blocking LegionOfLucifier. He's either just a giant troll, or a very, very dumb human being who refuses to (or just can't) understand other worldviews other than his own.
@PrisonerxOfxLove - Calling people out who use "their" religion to restrict the right of others is not hateful. The origin of the hypocrisy began when people who perceive themselves as Christians turn their backs on one of their own during a time when he needed their support the most. Jesus taught to love your neighbor, to hate the sin and not the sinner.
Besides, religion should be left out of politics anyways. Especially when this nation was founded on a right of religious freedom.
@LegionOfLucifer - Spoken like a true fag.